Ben ([info]vespid_interest) wrote,
@ 2008-07-08 09:44:00
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grammar question: can I do this:
What do you think of a sentence with two colons in it? It bothers me but if it is correct maybe I'll start using it. Below is an example from an email I can't quite bring myself to send.

"Speaking of adding the icon: use this program: [link to icon-replacer]"


Good form or bad form?

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[info]desdenova
2008-07-08 04:53 pm UTC (link)
Bad.

The first colon should be a comma, anyway.

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[info]khedron
2008-07-08 05:05 pm UTC (link)
I'm assuming this sentence is part of a list of varied responses? I do this over IM sometimes, to make it clear which part of a multi-threaded conversation I'm responding to, e.g.:

Movie: great idea!
Fist fight in bar: terrible idea!

However, even if this is so, I agree with you: the first one should just be a comma.

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[info]vespid_interest
2008-07-08 05:48 pm UTC (link)
This may be a bad example, but the sentence could have been:
"I'll tell you what I told him: use this program: [blah]"

I did reshape my sentence to not use two colons, but I don't know an actual rule that it violates, other than an aesthetic one.

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[info]Homechicken [bogomip.net]
2008-07-08 05:49 pm UTC (link)
I use multiple colons all the time: boost::shared_ptr...
Hey, that was 3 colons!

I agree with the comma comments, but at the same time you can avoid problems like this by rewriting the sentence. Something like:
You can use [link to icon-replacer] to add the icon.

Using "speaking of" is a little awkward when you're writing something down unless you're going for that "editorialized" feeling for the document.

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[info]vespid_interest
2008-07-09 12:05 am UTC (link)
I was being pretty informal with my email. I was writing my minion, and he's a bit of a genius so I like to keep my messages light with him. I don't know yet if he's an evil genius or the normal kind.

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[info]harimad
2008-07-09 02:12 pm UTC (link)
Evil genious isn't the normal kind?

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[info]Homechicken [bogomip.net]
2008-07-09 08:58 pm UTC (link)
I only have a part-time minion, and he's not very bright—he's a relative of the owner of the company. I'm jealous of your overlord status.

This loosely reminds me of the "nemesis wanted" ad on Craigslist (http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/672031640.html)

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[info]keyne
2008-07-08 06:27 pm UTC (link)
It's not a grammar question, it's a style issue, and two colons in close succession just makes many people twitch. :) Me, I'd change the first one to a comma or an em dash.

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[info]dark_angel69
2008-07-08 06:56 pm UTC (link)
desdenova's right, I'd use a comma. However, if it wasn't for the wording, I'd consider it acceptable, though I'd prefer to structure it a little different instead.

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[info]harimad
2008-07-08 07:14 pm UTC (link)
Bad.

The first colon is inappropriate. Colons signal, more or less, "list coming" but what follows it isn't a list. I don't think any punctuation is necessary at that spot but a comma would certainly be acceptable.

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[info]vespid_interest
2008-07-09 12:02 am UTC (link)
Oh, it was a list -- it just had one item. :)

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[info]harimad
2008-07-09 03:00 am UTC (link)
THBTTBH. I meant what followed the first colon.

After I posted I saw a Chicago Manual of Style while waiting for someone and looked up colons. You're dinged on the first colon but your second is OK'd as acceptable but not the only possibility. And the Manual does allow for a one item list. So there. There were no examples of sentences with two colons.

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